Friday, August 16, 2013

Houston, We Have A Problem...

I'm learning very quickly that cancer trials are unpredictable. I was not prepared for that. Plain and simple. I am coming off of consistent chemotherapy for a year and 3 months....when I went to MD Anderson to see if I was eligible for this trial-I thought I'd be rolling on into the the next phase of trying to beat this thing. I haven't had chemo in 4 months and I'm a little scared. Just what are those tumors doing in there? I can feel the effects on most days as I've shared before...but I don't want to fade away while waiting for this trial to begin. I guess I am a little frustrated that the trip that I was to go on this week didn't work out. 
There was an oral chemo drug that I took daily (11 pills!) that has to be completely out of my system before the trial can begin and long story short...it isn't. So there has been hang ups on their end and I guess on my end too. 
Justin and I were to leave on Tuesday and I was completely miserable at the thought of missing the kids first day of school. I'll just say it: stage 4 cancer makes you not.want.to.miss.a.thing....
So on Monday, I took the boys out to lunch to get some time in together before I was suppose to leave-thank you guys for suggesting that! Via Instagram, here we are, bellies full:
(Can you tell Keegan is just tolerating me? Ha) sweetsomethingdesign if you'd like to join me over on the gram.

The week before school, we ran up to Carthage to Precious Moments Chapel. I took some pictures of the boys and meandered through the chapel and grounds. It really is peaceful out there.




But guys. I didn't miss the first day of school. That is what good came out of the appointment falling through. I might of cried a little. My boys are growing so fast! I had the Houston trip on my mind so much that I've been a picture taking fool (not that I'm not anyway). I figured, why stress myself out just getting pictures on "the first day of school"....I'm dedicating the whole week to getting pictures. I'm just glad I'm here.



I want to get some good photos of Keegan, probably this weekend. Right after school is football practice so I haven't been able to get him where he's not too exhausted for pictures. 
Also, my sweet potato vine is massive! It has completely taken over the walk way and swallowed up even the birdbath. I love it though and we've just been walking around it on a small little strip of walkway. The green is SO bright and fresh.


I want to say a few things too, since this post is completely wishy-washy and sporadic anyway. I get emails often asking questions about projects here and there, how I did this or that and I answer....but then I get another email apologizing that they read further about the cancer and all....don't be sorry! I can still answer questions and help as much as I can. Now when I was going through chemo and in bed for days at a time, that was different-but I'm not bed ridden or anything I still do laundry and dishes (ugh), I can answer your questions. I just wanted to say that. If I feel like  I can't blog/answer emails at all, I'll just say so. Having said that, I know I don't post very often any more and when I do it's usually updates on my health...so thank you all for sticking around. Do I miss decorating, tablescapes and projects-YES! But this is what it is right now so I'm dealing. I appreciate the prayers and encouragement, you all help me so, so much. Know that.

2011-12-013

36 comments:

  1. Oh, Michelle, I am sorry you're having to go through this. But the many years I've know you through blogging I know you're a strong little cookie. You are in my prayers and I'm so glad you did get to see your boys off for their first day of school. Two handsome young men you have. God bless you.
    Blessings,
    Shelia ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so happy to hear that you got to see the boys off to school. Your little guy is so cute. The trails will come. Praying for you and your family. (((Hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sending prayers and hugs! Glad you did get to see the boys off to school. Hugs Pat H

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sending prayers and hugs! Glad you did get to see the boys off to school. Hugs Pat H

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are an inspiration. Thank you for the reminder that EVERY DAY is special!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Yes, I think that is at least one thing I've learned through all this!

      Delete
  6. what a fun picture of you 3 in the car. I choose to focus on that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm always so glad any time I see "Sweet Something Design" in my blog feed, Michelle....I'm sorry that things didn't work for you to go to Houston but what a sweet gift it was for you to be home for the first day of school! Praying for you my friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the prayers. Hopefully everything will line up and get started soon!

      Delete
  8. Michelle,
    Couldn't wait to read your update. So sorry things didn't go as planned. We have a friend with a 6 year old fighting leukemia. So many ups and downs. Up side, you were there for your boys 1st day of school. Down side, the waiting. I love when I am on pinterest and look up a project and it is one of yours from before I started following you. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Anna for the prayers. Yes, so many ups and downs.

      Delete
  9. Helllooooo!
    It's always great to hear how you are doing. You shared about missing decorating and the stuff we all came to love you for, and almost apologized for the health updates. I just wanted to tell you that though we came to love you for the beauty you add to the world, you shared a lot of yourself with us through the posts and we came to love you for YOU. I for one check daily for anything from you to see how you are doing. Thank you for not just keeping it all to yourself. You are precious and I am so glad to have the opportunity to pray for you and I wouldn't have that if you'd not shared what has been going on. So glad you got to be home for the first day of school and the pictures you shared are awesome! Big boy is officially a HUNK now, no more little boy! And sweetie pie as so adorable, but it's the shot of you I truly loved. You look fantastic, despite the circumstances. Hugs and love,
    Lynette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lynette and thank you! Too sweet you are! Your words of encouragement help me so. I will tell Keegan of his hunk status, although, he's aware of it! ;) Not being on chemo, will do the trick on looking better :)

      Delete
  10. Your boys are so good looking--great idea that you all went to lunch. Praying that the one drug gets out of your system so the other one can begin. Keep your chin up--you are awesome! I love your sense of humor--great title to your post :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your such an inspiration! Big hugs!
    Positive thought sent your way to get the trial started!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Have you heard of the Gershon Clinic? They have had some amazing success with stage 4 patients. . . Check it out! My brother has been studying them for years, we are putting some preventative steps into place. Anyone we know that has cancer, this is the 1st choice for treatment

    ReplyDelete
  13. Michelle, It's good to hear the update. I hope you can get the treatment you want soon!! The photos of your sons look great!! ~ Jamie John 4:27 (really the whole chapter) :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sorry...John 14:27 :) ~ Jamie

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi Michelle,

    Good to see you here again! You must be so proud of those boys. Keegan is turning into a mighty fine looking young man and that little one is adorable!!!

    Personally, I don't care what you post. You are an inspiration either way. By showing us something fabulous you have made or by sharing this journey with us. INSPIRING!!!
    Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh, your hair looks so cute in that picture!! And your eyes are beautiful...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Love the pictures! Especially your darling hair...course it doesn't hurt to have such a cute face around it! Glad you didn't miss the boys first day. Praying for you.
    XO

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ditto on glad you got to be there for school and your hair. You look beautiful even making a face. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so! Peace!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thank you for the update!! I've been wondering how you were doing. So glad that you're making special memories with your boys!! I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You are in my daily prayers.

    I am glad to get an update, and I am so hoping and praying you will be able to start everything at Anderson soon.

    Mary
    From Virginia

    ReplyDelete
  21. Michelle, I haven't been over here for awhile, but I think you are the most positive and strong woman I know in Blog Land. You are the real deal. I'm honored to know you as a bloggy bud.
    Brenda

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear Michelle, I am a new comer to your blog. I have a daughter with cancer. I will be praying for you and checking your blog for updates.

    Barbara Hilbrich

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi sweet friend, I am sorry I haven't been by here to comment as often as I should. I realized that since i talk to Klair about you all the time that it feels like I am talking to you and keeping up with you. But that is not the same as actually coming by here, saying hello. offering a hug, sharing a smile, and praying for you. Which I do often. So know that I am thinking of you and before Klair can even get into the door I am asking "how is Shell?" :) Stay strong beautiful friend.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Michelle,
    Just wanted to let you know that I'm still out here....praying for you and your family everyday. (I will be praying in earnest about the new drugs and treatments) So happy that you got to be there for your boys! My son, Josh, also started 2cnd grade this year and I'm wondering where the time has gone! I'm always so sad at the end of summer and my kids go back to school....I miss them!
    Love your postings - please ramble on!
    Hugs from N. Ca,
    Heather

    ReplyDelete
  25. Michelle: I live in Houston and have friends who have a ministry to cancer patients from out of town who need a place to stay while in Houston for treatment. Check out their facebook page: Hope Cancer Retreat. They also have a web page. Just Google "Hope Cancer Retreat." If you are coming here for any length of time, you should contact them. I know you have no reason to place any weight on my words, but Larry and Jenny are two of the most incredible people any of us could ever hope to know. Sending prayers.

    ReplyDelete

Thank You for taking the time to comment! Because of the insane amount of spam comments, I had to stop anonymous comments-sorry for the inconvenience.
Michelle